Category: The Idiot

But the Beatles turned out to be one of the th…

But the Beatles turned out to be one of the things you couldn’t avoid, like alcohol, or death.

Most people, the minute they meet you, were si…

Most people, the minute they meet you, were sizing you up for some competition for resources. It was as if everyone lived in fear of a shipwreck, where only so many people would fit on the lifeboat, and they were constantly trying to stake out their property and identify dispensable people – people they could get rid of… Everyone is trying to reassure themselves: I’m not going to get kicked off the boat, they are. They’re always separating people into two groups, allies and dispensable people… The number of people who want to understand what you’re like instead of trying to figure out whether you get to stay on the boat – it’s really limited.

I kept thinking about the uneven quality of ti…

I kept thinking about the uneven quality of time – the way it was almost always so empty, and then with no warning came a few days that felt so dense and alive and real that it seemed indisputable that that was what life was, that its real nature had finally been revealed. But then time passed and unthinkably grew dead again, and it turned out that that fullness had been an aberration and might never come back.

Even though I had a deep conviction that I was…

Even though I had a deep conviction that I was good at writing, and that in some way I already was a writer, this conviction was completely independent of my having ever written anything, or being able to imagine ever writing anything, that I thought anyone would like to read.

esarkaye:

esarkaye:

Re-reading The Idiot.

“It’s life that matters, nothing but life—the process of discovering, the everlasting and perpetual…”

“It’s life that matters, nothing but life—the process of discovering, the everlasting and perpetual process, not the discovery itself, at all.”

Fyodor Dostoyevsky, from The Idiot, translated from the Russian by Constance Garnett (1964)